NEW YORK – On a day that should have been spent anguishing between Vera Wang and Oscar de la Renta, Chelsea Clinton was instead left to pore over powerful fungicides in the hope they could clear up a massive fungal cap that sprouted suddenly on her head.

The fleshy fungus stalk appeared as Chelsea made a mad dash around Manhattan, interrupting a frenetic, pre-wedding buying binge.

Doctors at New York’s Mount Sinai Medical Center were able to identify the offending fungus as Trichophyton Gigantea, a species known equally for its rarity and its alarming growth rate.

“A patient can unfortunately see this organism grow from the opportunistic spore stage to massive, fruiting bodies in the space of a few hours,” said Dr. Barry F. Fleshtone, a visiting professor of pathological yeasts, molds, smuts and mushrooms at Queens College.

“Luckily, the fungus is easily treated and in fact makes a remarkably tasty addition to buttered pastas and fresh salads,” he added.

The rare head fungus can be seen here engulfing poor Chelsea's entire dome.

The lavish wedding of former first daughter Chelsea Clinton and democrat political apprentice-cum-financial wunderkind Marc Mezvinsky is scheduled for Saturday. From $600,000 tents to an $11,000 cake; from $500,000 in flowers to $15,000 in portable porcelain toilets, the fungoid protuberance has ample company in its prenuptial grandiosity.

While experts predict the unsightly fungus will by Saturday be as transparent as modern wedding vows, the fibrous pestilence is still likely to make the last-minute preparations even more hectic.  The sheer magnitude of the $5 million wedding was logistically daunting to the Chelsea camp even before the arrival of the cumbersome head fungus.

Although the average American wedding costs far less at roughly $29,000, unlike the typical American nuptial, Chelsea’s lavish affair will be financed with real money instead of the usual shaky debt instruments such as real estate ATMs and credit cards.

“With all the resources we’re bringing to bear, we’ll manage to complete the planning while Chelsea recovers,” said a Chelsea subordinate speaking on condition of anonymity.

Doctors say the head fungus can prey on stress, over-entitlement and brains that have been overexposed to a mixture of liberal guilt and absurd amounts of wealth.