The Bachelor’s Jason Mesnick says he got it wrong yet again.  Not the wrong woman, the wrong gender.  Now he says that his true love was right before his eyes the entire time, in “The Bachelor” host, Chris Harrison.

The meticulously oiled, endearingly ape-faced man-pastry, Mesnick, first captured the hearts of American women when he signed up to get dumped on ABC’s “The Bachelorette.”  The fan favorite was a natural to rebound into the next season of The Bachelor, but shocked and disappointed America by dumping contracted bride-to-be Melissa in favor of season finale reject Molly during the taping of the much-anticipated “After the Final Rose.”

“Evidently, it took several ABC-sponsored whorefests for me to fully appreciate my own gayness.  I’m not one to deny my feelings, not at all, I’m a big fan of following one’s heart.  In fact, that’s why I dumped Melissa, because I’m really tuned in to what the heart wants, you know?  My heart wanted the amazing Molly first, then Melissa, who really is amazing.  Then my heart really wanted Molly again, mostly because she’s so amazing.  So, my heart was satisfied. The problem is, my penis wasn’t.  I just recently found out that my penis wants Chris Harrison. Chris is just amazing, I mean really amazing.  He’s always there when you need him, he has this way of just materializing when you’ve got a tough situation to deal with, like trying to select your lifemate from a sea of estrogen-fueled man-traps.  He’s so amazing.”

Mesnick offers Harrison the final "bro-rose"

Chris Harrison, the remarkably unmemorable host of hundreds of television shows, has refused to comment, but He Loves You, He Loves You Not, West Hollywood’s premiere gay-only floral delivery service, claims they have delivered 72 dozen long stemmed red roses to Harrisons Beverly Hills mini-mansion, all sent from Mesnick.

Mesnick is currently negotiating with ABC for the top spot in the first ever “The Gay Bachelor,” which should join ABC’s fall lineup.

Originally posted 2009-03-06 11:42:48. Republished by Blog Post Promoter