White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, announced at a press briefing this morning that President Obama is mulling resigning the presidency in favor of hosting his own show on The Travel Channel. “The presidency has offered the President unparalleled opportunity to explore his true passion: travel – or more specifically, vacationing,” said Gibbs. “The Travel [...]
Only hours after demanding that federal authorities investigate groups opposed to the construction of a mosque at Ground Zero in Manhattan, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has turned her attention to another target: namely, every American citizen. Specifically, Pelosi has leveled the charge that her falling job performance numbers are the result of well-financed [...]
WASHINGTON – Even as the Senate overcame a Republican filibuster that sought to prevent a $33.9 billion extension of unemployment benefits from being “financed” with more debt, President Obama single-handedly reduced the unemployment rate of the three Americans who joined him at a press briefing Monday in the Rose Garden from 100 to zero percent [...]
WASHINGTON – After BP proposals with patently absurd names such as “Top Hat,” “Top Kill” and “Junk Shot” failed to stem the flow of oil from the Gulf Leak, the Obama administration is hoping to ratchet up such rhetorical foolery even more, aiming to literally harness it by directing the hot air it produces to [...]
In the course of his long political career, Sen. Arlen Specter has been a Democrat, then a Republican, and most recently, a Democrat again. Now, having lost the Democratic party primary in the Pennsylvania senate race, Specter has announced he is changing parties once again, this time to the New Black Panther Party. “It appears [...]
WASHINGTON – In another highly suspect political quid pro quo, the Obama administration has confirmed it is offering embattled BP CEO Tony Hayward a position on a “presidential or other Senior Executive Branch Advisory Board” in exchange for resigning from the company and turning control of the Gulf oil-spill recovery efforts to blockbuster Hollywood film [...]
In a move signaling his continued dissatisfaction with the composition of the Supreme Court, President Obama has selected Elena Kagan as the nation’s first apparently asexual Supreme Court nominee as a replacement to retiring justice, John Paul Stevens. While many complain that the Supreme Court is far too white, or too Catholic, or too male, [...]
WASHINGTON – Facing criticism in response to the empty political grandstanding that took place yesterday when members of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations subjected Goldman Sachs executives to hours of obscenity-laced interrogation over toxic mortgage securities, the Senate has reluctantly agreed to hold hearings with select dumbass homeowners who “purchased” homes without the slightest [...]
WASHINGTON – During a speech delivered Monday at a Democratic Party fundraiser, President Obama vowed to nationalize the political polling industry. Pollsters have consistently reported tanking job approval numbers since six months into the President’s administration and according to an undisclosed source, the President has privately been vexed over how to combat his rising unpopularity [...]
Fully 1/8th of our elk herd got severely frightened. It was so bad that a Grey Wolf missed as he tried to urinate on a tree.”
Sweeps Week shocker planned: hubby to slaughter, butcher and eat wife on ‘Man Woman Wild’
Swine flu – it’s like bird flu – only new!Obama considers resigning presidency to host show on The Travel Channel
Dennis Rodman: Conquest of 2,000 women a ‘teachable moment’ for parents
Lohan checks more items off her “Bucket List” of celebutard achievementsPelosi alleges conspiracy by “all Americans” to thwart her poll numbers
St. Louis Cardinals to hire Brandon Phillips as motivational speaker
