Demonstrators have suffered heavy and repeated losses during routines staged in the middle of bustling intersections where participants have been overrun by cars, taxis, buses and tuk-tuks, but its members hope to follow in the successful footsteps of the trendy and mysteriously contagious political revolts that have gripped the Middle East in recent weeks.

“Today Tunis, tomorrow Tahrir Square!” shouted one agitator. Wearing a Bieber mask and clutching a large, 1980s-style boombox, he doused himself in kerosene, stepped into traffic and set himself ablaze, his screams fading well before his melting boombox succumbed to the intense heat.

Vehicles did yield to this spectacle, and his fellow protesters hailed his sacrifice as “heroic” and “tide changing,” pointing to how their counterparts used self immolation to ignite the beginnings of political unrest only weeks earlier.

“Who can explain why several other countries should embrace anarchy just because Tunisia, more than a thousand miles away, did,” remarked one protester. “I guess it’s because people are just lemmings, which is perfect for us, since only that same behavior can explain Bieber Fever to begin with.”

Bieber fever is the latest ingredient in the Middle East powder keg.

After enraged Tunisian youth set themselves aflame and prompted President Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali to flee the country, copycat, regime-changing riots erupted in Egypt, culminating in longtime Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak’s ungainly exit from power on Feb. 11.

Meanwhile, malcontents inspired by those events are today stoking their own unrest in Yemen, Bahrain and Iran with hopes of effecting similar, if ill-planned, change.  Multiple reports indicate that Bieber Fever may be afflicting the region in much the same fashion, despite flash mob casualties numbering in the thousands.

In Tehran, a live BBC radio interview with a diplomat in the Swiss embassy in Tehran abruptly ended in screams followed by the overpowering strains of “Overboard,” the Bieber remix featuring fellow pop tart Miley Cyrus. Off the coast of Somlia, militant pirates broke off a successful attack against a mammoth oil tanker to instead pursue a cargo ship containing 76,000 tons of bootlegged Bieber DVDs headed from China to South Africa.

Iranian leaders have angrily denounced the Bieber Fever threatening to sweep the already-troubled region. Parliament Speaker Ali Larijani blamed Israel and the United States for the “heinous injection of Western, pop-music garbage into Allah’s hemisphere.”

“When we blocked the Devil’s satellites and Internet signals to keep out such filth, they sent these agitators instead. Death to them all!” he shouted in an impromptu fatwah he delivered against “all things Bieber.”

However, the Bieber movement vigorously denies ties to Israel or the United States. “Israel might be to blame for 99% of the region’s problems,” said one protester struggling to set her heavy burka on fire. “But Bieber is Canadian and he’s not even Jewish!”

“Curse these fuel shortages,” she added. “Do you know how hard it is to set a wool burka on fire with just a match?”

Originally posted 2011-02-15 22:25:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

“She’s the extreme makeover that the Republican Party needs. She’s youthful, she’s positive, she’s popular and she’s always smiling! Yes she can!” Furnace said in a prepared statement.

“She’s also tight with Jesus. Heck, she could even sing her speeches,” the soon to be canceled ‘news’ show host added, “That’d be totally awesome!”

Cyrus, whose current schedule includes the upcoming “Hannah Montana: The Movie” and a guest appearance on “To Catch a Predator”, could not be reached in person, but did text us the following response:

OMG! VP? How kewl!

Just like that Tina Palin!

Go USA! LOL

<3 n' Smooches, Miley

The former ‘tween’ pop idol and permanent Disney asset, best known as her alter ego ‘Hannah Montana’, could be the GOP’s “ace in the hole” for the 2012 Presidential election, say analysts.

“The absence of a septagenarian plus Ms. Cyrus equals an easy win in 2012,” declared Fearsome Angle, head of the conservative group Elephants Never Forget.

"C'mere..." The current 'official' 2012 campaign slogan for presumed GOP VP candidate Cyrus.

However, one obstacle stands in the way: the Constitution. According to the aged document, the minimum age for Presidential and Vice Presidential candidacy is 35. Cyrus will be a mere 19 years old in 2012.

“The Constitution?!” exclaimed Mr. Angle, “That’s a good one.” He then quickly walked away and was heard laughing hysterically in a nearby restroom.

“Old enough to breed, old enough to lead! That’s what I say! Aw haw!” said has-been country star Billy Ray Cyrus, who fully supports his daughter’s ‘decision’.

Originally posted 2009-03-31 12:36:38. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

In one picture, Cyrus dons a fat suit and is dipping doughnuts into a can of Crisco. Another shows Cyrus wearing a pink t-shirt with “GLAAD” hand-written on it, wearing a strap-on phallus and waving a rainbow flag. A third photo depicts Cyrus in blackface and a minstrel costume.

Cyrus: If Robert Downey Jr. can do it, so can I!

When word of the outrage reached Cyrus, she offered these words on her fansite:

“OMG y’all. They are trying to make me into a HollyWitch. I am young and famous and therefour a target. Look, y’all know where my heart is (now can anyone find my brain? LOLOLOLOLOLOL). I’m kidding. I love the Orientals, I’m not racist; I LOVE the gays and the fatties. Who hasn’t dressed up in blackface? It’s hilarious. And a fat suit? Everyone’s got one back home that I know. I learned all I need to know about sensitivity from Daddy Cyrus and no one accuses him of making fun of rednecks when he dresses the way he does, so what gives? I just want to be left alone to goOMG on tour!!!!!!!!!!!! And act like an actress and pretend to not be intererested in sex because I. am. totally. saving. myself for my DAD! oops, i mean for marriage. Be strong. Peace out! hugs, kisses and mucho cuddles from your favorite Care Bear…….MILEY!!!”

Among those not buying into Cyrus’ position of inculpability is the International Coalition of Overweight Women (ICOW) co-founder Jeannette Marcone, who is calling Cyrus’ demeanor of wide-eyed innocence an act. “Like most of her acting, it’s mediocre at best, but it’s definitely an act. She knows exactly what she’s doing. Like it or not, she’s a role model to young people and what she does has a direct effect on the mindset of tomorrow’s generation. Un-thin people have always had a difficult time, and we don’t need skinny girls like Cyrus making it worse.”

The NAACP sees it as a much more censurable offense, and is calling for an immediate, across-the-board ban on all things Cyrus. NAACP Spokesperson Clay Miller Johnson says Cyrus is sending a strong message to black America and it deserves a strong response, “Long gone are the days where minstrel blackface was something to chuckle at. It’s a serious indignity to people of color and we are asking people to disassociate themselves from anything to do with Ms. Cyrus. This includes anything related to the Disney brand. Stop watching her television programs, stop attending her concerts, stop supporting her clothing line, and stop buying Hannah Montana lunchboxes.”

Publicists for Cyrus insist that the photos are not representative of shallow-mindedness. “Despite Miley’s own reaction, these photos should be viewed as something more than youthful horseplay. They should be viewed as an audition, a type of method acting, if you will. It’s important for people to see Miley as more than just a teen pop star. These photos show that she can be versatile – she could play a fat person in a movie, or an ethnic person, or a gay. Miley truly believes there’s an Oscar in her future. We are choosing to look at these photos as a potential showcase for a future Academy Award.”

Originally posted 2009-02-06 10:15:43. Republished by Blog Post Promoter