Maytag recalls 1.6M refrigerators; repairman no longer bored

The Consumer Product Safety Commission stated that this was the largest refrigerator-recall ever. When he heard the news, the Maytag Repairman soiled his pants.

Police confiscate, use, more than $1.2 million in illegal drugs from Phish fans

“This is a total bummer, man. Like, wow! … The Man is totally oppressing us!”

“…we gonna trip balls, [have sex with] some hookers, and kill some dogs. Or maybe [have sex with] the dogs and kill the whores. Who cares! It’s party time!”