“Compare someone to Hitler –anyone,” implored Jake Rotgutt, one of the millions of football fans who enjoy Sunday and Monday night football but “can’t stand the awful music they insist on leading off with.”

“We look for hope anywhere, even in Hitler analogies,” he said tearfully.

However, that hope is tempered by the realization that it took 20 years to get rid of Williams.

“20 god-awful years of that god-awful song,” said Rotgutt, referring to the second-generation country wailer’s grotesque adaptation of his own already-hideous song, “All My Rowdy Friends,” which has assaulted the ears of Monday Night Football fans before every game since 1991.

“Will it take Faith 20 years to come up with her own Hitler analogy? Let’s hope she’s quicker than he is,” said TV critic Foster Peeples, who, like 99% of non-deaf people, experience flulike symptoms when exposed to Hill’s take on “Waiting All Day For Sunday Night,” an appalling recast of Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Loving You.”

Music critic Skeet van der Grunge noted, “Ironically, although “Waiting All Day For Sunday Night” was bastardized from a far better song than we experienced with the self-plagiary of Hank Williams Jr., the end result was far worse, especially when considering the visual malady created by the arthritic gyrations of Faith Hill in an overstuffed leather suit.

“Apparently she still thinks she’s sexy, but any appeal she has left is quickly overwhelmed by prancing vulgarities like Ray Lewis, who are green-screened behind her.”

When asked if NBC would commit to firing Faith Hill the moment she unveils her own Hitler analogy, network spokesman Brad Pumpernickle said, “That’s like asking Hitler in 1938 if he had plans to invade Poland. Let’s not speculate, Why worry about things that haven’t happened yet?”

“She’s the extreme makeover that the Republican Party needs. She’s youthful, she’s positive, she’s popular and she’s always smiling! Yes she can!” Furnace said in a prepared statement.

“She’s also tight with Jesus. Heck, she could even sing her speeches,” the soon to be canceled ‘news’ show host added, “That’d be totally awesome!”

Cyrus, whose current schedule includes the upcoming “Hannah Montana: The Movie” and a guest appearance on “To Catch a Predator”, could not be reached in person, but did text us the following response:

OMG! VP? How kewl!

Just like that Tina Palin!

Go USA! LOL

<3 n' Smooches, Miley

The former ‘tween’ pop idol and permanent Disney asset, best known as her alter ego ‘Hannah Montana’, could be the GOP’s “ace in the hole” for the 2012 Presidential election, say analysts.

“The absence of a septagenarian plus Ms. Cyrus equals an easy win in 2012,” declared Fearsome Angle, head of the conservative group Elephants Never Forget.

"C'mere..." The current 'official' 2012 campaign slogan for presumed GOP VP candidate Cyrus.

However, one obstacle stands in the way: the Constitution. According to the aged document, the minimum age for Presidential and Vice Presidential candidacy is 35. Cyrus will be a mere 19 years old in 2012.

“The Constitution?!” exclaimed Mr. Angle, “That’s a good one.” He then quickly walked away and was heard laughing hysterically in a nearby restroom.

“Old enough to breed, old enough to lead! That’s what I say! Aw haw!” said has-been country star Billy Ray Cyrus, who fully supports his daughter’s ‘decision’.

Originally posted 2009-03-31 12:36:38. Republished by Blog Post Promoter