A reveler urges on history. History proceeded to transpire, unaware of her support.

WASHINGTON – It’s 2009: the dawn of a new political era. Change is no longer content simply to be in the air; it is now the prevailing wind, powering ‘round-the-clock bursts of self-serving cliché in every corner of politics.

That includes Washington, of course, and the biggest political stage of them all: Inauguration Day. But living up to all the rhetoric – empty as it may be – required lots of equally empty symbolism, and officials were nothing if not prepared.

“We knew this would be a tall order from the get go,” said Languid Loads, spokeswoman for the inaugural committee. “We geared up for more than one million people to attend the inauguration. While they came primarily to clutch fruitlessly at the coattails of history, they also came to be entertained, and it was important to keep that in mind.”

As a result, she said, the list of attractions accompanying the inauguration was a long one: a parade, a Bruce Springsteen concert, giant plasma televisions on the Mall to provide TV coverage to those who preferred to watch coverage of the event outdoors in the dead of winter rather than in their own homes, $700,000 to the Smithsonian Institution to stay open extra hours, hundreds of mobile toilets, and, last but not least, 10 sparkling inaugural balls.

Less-important but still-pricey hurdles included security, stage and platform construction and modifications to traffic flows and public transportation.

In fact, officials estimated the total cost of the Inauguration to be upwards of $150 million.

Loads says it was well worth it. “The Obama administration really wanted this inaugural to symbolize the can-do spirit of America,” she said. “They thought, ‘What better way – particularly in the middle of Great Depression 2.0 – than to create a whole new set of unnecessary and expensive obstacles to overcome?’

“Their immediate impulse, of course, was to turn to the American People for help, in the form of a fee or a tax. But then they got this great idea about corporate sponsorship. It was sort of a nod to the Right.”

Since the decision was made relatively late in the game, staffers rushed to pitch commercial slots in Obama’s speech. They landed several big names on Wall Street as well as trendier corporate behemoths like Google, Microsoft and Apple.

“That was why you probably noticed Obama was sporting some iPod ear pods during his entire speech,” said Loads. “In fact, it was functional, backing up his teleprompter and relaying mission-critical security information.”

At one point, a fierce bidding war broke out between AIG and Google for sponsorship of the word “change” in Obama’s speech. According to sources in both companies, during a tense conference call, an executive with AIG cautioned Google by shouting, “Remember, we’re playing with house money and we can do this all day!” AIG won the bidding.

Attentive listeners likely noticed many more corporate references – there were 4,200 in all during the speech – from McDonalds to Fannie Mae to wineandexcrement.com, which sponsored all semicolons in the speech.

“This has certainly opened up a new frontier in advertising,” said self-proclaimed marketing guru Leprous Shacks of Brand to Brand Enterprises, a Washington D.C. marketing think tank. “By the next inauguration, I would look to outright sponsorship of the entire term period with first right of refusal for a reelection in the case of first-termers.”

Originally posted 2009-01-20 17:50:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter