PITTSBURGH – In an effort to promote American jobs and assist the fledgling Obama Administration in its re-election efforts, the NFL has announced that the Super Bowl XLIII champion Pittsburg Steelers
will have their championship rings made of steel instead of platinum. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell explained to a press conference in New York that “today’s recessionary times call for drastic measures to promote the American economy.”
By contracting with US Steel , a Pittsburgh-based corporation, the NFL was hoping to avoid any sentiment of “globalization” associated with the modern era of commerce. In addition, the rings would be cast in the Pittsburgh plant, allowing Steeler fans to craft the very items that would mark the Steeler victory over the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.
“I cannot wait to get to work on Monday so I can cast the first ring,” said US Steel line foreman Jack A Sheet. “I mean, along with the referees, the fans and the NFL front office, we have only the Arizona Cardinals to thank for rolling over and playing dead on that last drive, and I’d be happy to design a runner-up ring for them if they’d be interested.”
When asked about the new steel rings, the Rooney family of Pittsburgh, owners of the Steeler franchise, only commented that they’d be happy to donate the difference in cost of the rings to the Obama ’12 Campaign.


[...] In addition, the rings would be cast in the Pittsburgh plant, allowing Steeler fans to craft the very items that would mark the Steeler victory over the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII. “I cannot wait to get to work on Monday so I …More [...]