MOSCOW – Russian President  Dmitriy Medvedev confirmed today that he was sending seven army divisions to Kaliningrad, where they will remain on alert along the Polish border in response to last week’s crash of a Soviet-built Tupolev Tu-154 carrying Polish President Lech Kaczynski and 95 others, including high-ranking military and governmental officials.

All 96 on board died.

Kaliningrad is a Russian exclave that was gifted to the USSR at the end of World War II by the Stalinist Appeasement Treaty, also known as the Potsdam Conference. It shares a 268-mile border with northern Poland.

Although the aircraft went down in heavy fog in Smolensk, where Russia had just reluctantly approved a memorial to commemorate the 70th anniversary of the Soviet extermination of more than 20,000 Polish citizens at Katyn, Medvedev insisted the crash was “no accident,” calling it a “cleverly disguised kamikaze attack on the sovereign state of Russia.”

Some readers may be able to see the impact site at lower right. Several dozen Russian trees, shrubs and lichen were destroyed, along with a bear.

The aircraft impacted terrain approximately 650 feet from the runway, engulfing the crash site, an unpopulated wooded area, in flames.

“We suffered tangible losses in this unprovoked attack,” said Medvedev. “A peace-loving, 20-meter antenna was destroyed, not to mention 17 birch trees, five viburnum trees and at least six aspen – all of these living, breathing citizens of Russia – that is, until this shameless attack.”

“Just as tragically, uncountable numbers of Usnea florida, a particularly beautiful species of lichen that flourishes in the Motherland, were incinerated in this brazen act of war,” he continued. “These lichen can literally survive in outer space, so brave and rugged are they, yet they can hardly be blamed for their noble defeat at the hands of a cowardly suicide attack by the Polish Air Force.”

“Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention that the fallen include a bear – the very symbol of our Motherland. Could there be a louder call to action than witnessing the enemy wantonly spill the blood of the Russian Bear upon our very own soil?

“And to add insult to injury, they attack us with one of our very own planes!”

Many experts have speculated that poor visibility, which was limited to 1,600 feet, was the likely cause of the crash. Others have argued that since Kaczynski’s wife, as well as the national bank governor and other dignitaries, including parliament speakers and an Olympic Committee head, were on board, it was highly unlikely the flight was a suicidal sneak attack.

But Medvedev dismissed all such arguments as “subterfuge the aggressor would have you believe. After all, was not the commander of the flight one of their most experienced Air Force pilots?”

“Mother Russia will take action commensurate with this naked act of terror,” he insisted, although he cautioned that an outright invasion of Poland was “not yet imminent.”

“First of all, we’d feel more comfortable with a 40-1 troop advantage on the border, such as Stalin enjoyed in 1939. We’re not quite there yet.

“Second, we need Germany to take care of the eastern half of Poland, preferably with a 1.5-million-man army, as they mustered in 1939, but at the very least with whatever they’ve got on hand today. We’re confident we can achieve these requirements in less than a month.”

When reminded Poland and Germany were now fellow members of NATO, Medvedev chuckled and said, “Obama’s still in charge of the free world, right? I’m about as worried about a NATO response as I am about that missile-defense system they promised to Poland.

“It doesn’t exist, and pretty soon, neither will Poland.”

Originally posted 2010-04-14 14:59:27. Republished by Blog Post Promoter