PITTSBURGH – Police who patrolled the grounds of the G20 summit held in Pittsburgh last week have drawn international condemnation for using a controversial new anti-riot weapon that projects loud bursts of sound at target subjects.

A week later, dozens of protesters remain in the hospital after being subjected to the cutting-edge sonic weapon. Observers blame law enforcement’s decision to use amplified bursts of musical efforts by puerile rock band Nickelback instead of its usual arsenal of 150-decible car alarm-like sounds. The injuries, both physical and mental, are the worst ever recorded in the short history of the weapon, known as the Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD).

LRAD works by projecting a cone of annoying sound up to two miles. At close range, it can register 150 decibels – louder than a jet engine.

The ACLU and other legal groups denounced authorities for what  they perceive as overkill.

“We’re not against the weapon per se,” said Feral Junk Poem, sub-junior analyst with the ACLU’s anti-law enforcement office for its Western Pennsylvania division. “What we question is why, when it was clear that these peaceful protesters were already dispersing, law enforcement sadistically increased the level of force from screaming car alarms to Nickelback.”

When you hear this sound, be afraid. Be very afraid ...

Law enforcement, however, tells a different story. “We had given them about two minutes of the standard high-pitched noise,” said Rectal “Whim” Boil, assistant chief with the regional counterterror task force that held tactical command during the event. “But they kept coming, kept throwing bricks and such at us. So we had no choice but to go to the Nickelback.”

Medical experts and music critics alike warned of the dangers of even brief encounters with Nickelback music. Dr. Emphatic Learner, non-managing director of audiology at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, said, “Exposure to Nickelback for any period of time is contraindicated for anyone, but this is particularly so in children under seven, the elderly and anyone with a weakened immune system.”

Prehensile Newt, a music critic with Allmusic, said, “Using evolution among primates as an analogy to the music industry, Nickelback are still living in the trees. They haven’t figured out how to walk upright yet, and their efforts to do so are downright dangerous.”

Assistant Chief Boil said roughly 17 people remained in area hospitals. Most were being treated for auditory difficulties, severe nausea and dehydration and all would require “long term counseling” once they recovered from their physical ailments, he said. One had suffered a permanent loss of vision, which doctors cannot yet explain, he added.

Still, Boil maintains things could have been much worse. “If the crowd didn’t relent, we were ready to launch some Celine Dion songs,” he said soberly. “That would have been very, very bad, but at the end of the day, you have to use force commensurate with the threat.”

Meanwhile, an attorney for Nickelback says the band is exploring its legal options in light of the fact that authorities apparently used unlicensed tracks rather than entire albums in their assaults, which she said raised “dangerous reminders” of Napster-like copyright issues.

Originally posted 2009-10-05 10:28:07. Republished by Blog Post Promoter