WASHINGTON – Even as the Senate overcame a Republican filibuster that sought to prevent a $33.9 billion extension of unemployment benefits from being “financed” with more debt, President Obama single-handedly reduced the unemployment rate of the three Americans who joined him at a press briefing Monday in the Rose Garden from 100 to zero percent by crowning them as his latest White House Czars.

On Monday, the president had framed himself with the three chronically unemployed Americans in an effort to bolster his argument that jobless benefits should be extended again despite the fact that his party had put no thought into how they might be paid for.

The president poses on Monday with the trio of soon-to-be Czars.

“We’ve got a responsibility to help [Americans who’ve been laid off in this recession] make ends meet and support their families even as they’re looking for another job,” insisted the president during prepared remarks.

Late yesterday, upon hearing of the Senate’s decision, the president declared, “Today, I’m going to put action to those words.

“Now, some out there may think that parading people who have been out of work for a number of years in front of the press is shameless political grandstanding.

“They’re gonna say this is just a maudlin, overstated exhibit in support of extending unfunded entitlements and it’ll never work because the American people are smart enough to see through that kind of malarkey.

“Well, I’m here to tell you they’re wrong! It was the silent strength of these three folks, their stoic dignity, their selfless civic mindedness that shamed the Senate into standing up to the bullying Republicans who dared to suggest fiscal reality should interrupt the fulfillment of our obligation to put food on our citizens’ tables.

“Without the strength they marshaled, this measure could never have passed.

“And so, I’m pleased to now offer these three brave souls employment within my own growing administration, where they’ll never have to worry about unemployment – or anything else in the real world – again.”

The new appointments are as follows, and are effective immediately (Czars are not subject to Congressional confirmation procedures):

• Jim Chukalas, who worked as a parts manager at a Honda dealership until he was laid off two years ago, is now Auto Parts Czar for the White House
• Leslie Macko, an unemployed fitness worker since last year, is now White House Fitness Czar.
• Denise Gibson, a laid off real estate agent, is now White House Real Estate Czar

Below is the complete list of all 31 current White House Czars: