WASHINGTON (DC) – After months of failures and delays, President Obama announced his latest plan to finally complete the assembly of his cabinet – months after every other President had theirs up and running. Obama has reached out into the cult of celebrity and tapped TV personality Bob Vila to fix his cabinets.
Vila, 62, was the host of the long running 80’s home improvement program, This Old House, where he sat around and did essentially nothing while his ‘faithful assistant’ Norm made exotic, yet surprisingly affordable, upgrades to homes nationwide.
A Cabinet To Be Proud Of
Obama’s cabinet has become a source of embarrassment to the new president as several nominees have been rejected, or have withdrawn from consideration for reasons ranging from tax cheating to embezzlement to general incompetence. While every previous administration has considered the filling of these vacancies to be the first duty of a new President, and typically completed the task prior to inauguration, Obama still has several high-profile vacancies, yet it has been over two months since his ascension to the Oval Office.Compounding matters, 3 cabinet officials have already stepped down, before ever even so much as being confirmed by the Senate.
According to White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, “Hiring Bob Vila will allow the President to focus on more vital national issues like arguing with Rush Limbaugh or complaining about the lack of a playoff in college football.”
“He might also find some time for more government spending,” Gibbs continued. “He’s really good at that.”
Can't talk now - Oprah's waiting!
The inability of Obama to handle even this simple process has raised yet again the concern that he is a neophyte, and utterly lacking even basic administrative qualifications to lead the free world. Though he began his term with the second highest approval rating in history, his numbers have already dropped from 68% to 56% approval, in only two months.
“Obama’s no do-it-yourselfer,” commented media watchdog L. Brent Bozell, “so now he’s finally figured out that he needs to hire a contractor to get something done. Maybe then he can get around to giving out all those rainbows and unicorns he promised everybody.”
Bob and Norm. Partners? Or soul-mates?
Mr. Vila was made available via teleconference from his Miami home. When asked how he would fix the cabinet, he said, “Spackle. Lots and lots of spackle.”
At this point, his faithful sidekick Norm interrupted and clarified, stating, “Whether you are completely remodeling your entire cabinet or using some of the readily available low-cost adaptive products, creating a safe, comfortable and accessible cabinet is not planning for ability – it`s planning for continued dependence on the government.”
When asked to clarify his statement, Norm seemed taken aback. “You mean I wasn’t clear?” he asked? “It means spackle.”
Meanwhile, President Obama, while on his way to an Oprah taping, stopped briefly to address the situation. “[Vice President] Joe Biden just explained to me what ‘vetting’ means,” Obama said, “We should probably be trying that next.”
Originally posted 2009-03-16 11:49:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
