Timed to coincide with her recent retirement announcement, Walt Disney Studios confirmed today that it has begun production on the long-expected bio-pic of White House correspondent, Helen Thomas. However, in a surprise move Disney revealed that the film will be animated.

“We’d been considering that angle for some time,” said producer of the project, Howard Schwartz. “Everything about her just screams ‘cartoon’.”

Disney releases first images of the animated Helen Thomas

When asked if he had ever considered doing a standard live-action film, Schwartz said, “Yes, but it became obvious that we could not find an actress repuls–, um, let’s say unique enough to pull it off. So we started discussing CGI effects and the like, but frankly, even with all the technical wizardry this industry is capable of, it just seemed an impossible venture.” Schwartz added that “we could create Gollum for the Lord of the Rings, but this was a bridge too far. Once we reached that conclusion, going full-on animated was the clear choice.”

For her part, Thomas is excited about the project. “I am honored to be portrayed in this fash– oh dear, exshuuze me,” said Thomas, collecting her teeth from the floor. “There, good as new. Anyway, I’ve always loved illustrations, even as a child when I would for hours play with my stereoscope … I like ham … Have you seen my shoe?”

When asked for details on the overall theme of the picture, Schwartz said, “it’s a classic boy-meets-girl-then-boy-runs-in-horror-from-girl-so-girl-gets-an-attitude-of-such-severity-she-is-left-forever-cynical-and-bereft-of-joy’ story. Sorta how I imagine Janeane Garofalo’s bio-pic will eventually go.”

One former politician, who asked not to be identified, had this to say about the upcoming film: “All I know is, that hook-nosed decaying old vulture made a name for herself on my watch. I know all I need to know about that anti-Semitic attention whore, and I don’t need to see her ugly mug on the screen to relive it. But if the producers want some advice, to really capture her they’ll have to go more ‘Ren and Stimpy’ and less ‘The Lion King.’ Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make a beer run on my mountain bike.”

Film critic, Leonard Maltin, is concerned about the project though. “I don’t know how they are going to cover the last days of her career – specifically her directive to Israeli Jews to vacate the country – in a movie genre designed to appeal to kids. In fact the whole idea seems off-kilter. My kids, for instance, accidentally caught a presidential press conference back in 2004 and have had night terrors ever since.”

Thomas, however, thinks her life story is perfect for kids. “I can teach them that looks aren’t everything. And neither are brains. Heck even lucidity is overrated,” said Thomas. “Basically, I can show all the ugly, stupid, and unbalanced kids of the world that there IS hope for them: in the media!”