RICHMOND, Va. – Under a strict but little-known clause attached to Michael Vick’s plea agreement, the troubled ex-con’s recent crass behavior, including publically quaffing an adult beverage and cavorting with fellow athletically gifted renegade Allen Iverson in a Norfolk strip club, will add 11 and a half years to his recently completed 23-month sentence because the term will be converted to dog years.

Billy Martin, an attorney for Vick, confirmed today that Team Vick was notified by federal prosecutors that the unusual clause, which had been inserted by U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson, had been triggered.

Although Garote said the decision would be “vigorously and repeatedly” appealed, Vick has been ordered to report to federal prison in Leavenworth, Kansas by midnight Eastern tonight or 8 a.m. Central tomorrow, whichever comes first.

After an investigation revealed that Vick and his confederates engaged in and profited from recreational dog killing over at least a six-year period, he plead guilty to “Conspiracy to Travel in Interstate Commerce in Aid of Unlawful Activities and to Sponsor a Dog in an Animal Fighting Venture.”

Vick also agreed to cooperate fully in the investigation. In return, prosecutors asked that Vick receive near the minimum sentence.

Judge Hudson sentenced Vick to 23 months in prison. Although this was well below the maximum of six years, Hudson did insert a small clause, apparently unnoticed by his attorneys, the media and Vick’s current employer, the Philadelphia Eagles, stipulating that “any act of thuggery or otherwise boorish behavior on the part of Defendant Vick during his probationary period [three years after release] will immediately trigger the conversion of his sentence to dog years. For the purposes of the conversion, Defendant’s sentence will be multiplied by the commonly accepted factor of seven.”

Vick completed the 23-month term earlier this year. After receiving high-profile endorsements from perennially naïve nice guy and former Colts coach Tony Dungy, he convinced the Eagles to sign him as a backup quarterback in Philadelphia, where he hopes to reignite his stalled career.

What qualifies as boorish behavior was not explicitly laid out by Judge Hudson, but according to federal prosecutors, the serious nature of Vick’s earlier transgressions “really lowers the bar” in terms of applying that definition.

“Here’s a guy, a convicted dog torturer, who has repeatedly shown a lack of impulse control in the past, and his recent actions prove he hasn’t changed,” said Thor Weissehound, a federal prosecutor assigned to the case. “Now that he’s drinking and ogling dogs in strip clubs, we’re afraid he could revert to fighting them – or something even worse. Mr. Vick has nothing but himself to blame for his return to prison.”

Vick, when told he had to report to Leavenworth again, wondered if the decision might be delayed until at least Week Three of the season. “We play the Chiefs then, don’t we?” he asked. “I bet I’m a first-string baller by then, and then you know Roger and Coach would vouch for me and if not, we’re in Kansas anyways and I can just reup there.”

Leavenworth is about 20 miles from Kansas City, home of the Chiefs, whom the Eagles play on Set. 27. However, the game is at Philadelphia.

“Just speaking from the heart, I know that between now and then, I can prove to kids not only can you not be fighting dogs, you know, but you also got to stay out of the strip clubs and you also can’t be drinking, you know?” continued Vick. “I’m not sure what that leaves a fella to do, but I know kids smarter than me can figure it out. There’s got to be something, you know? Where I came up, I never had the chance to come up with other ideas, and I hope this helps other kids get a better chance than I had.”

When reminded of his failed drug test while free on bail after his initial arrest, he said, “That’s right, there’s always weed. But the Man don’t like you doing that, either. You know, I found that out by, you know, taking full responsibility for my actions, being totally responsible, embracing complete responsibility, and accepting total responsibility.”

Vick added, “Dog years? If they converted my stats to dog stats, I’d have more yards than Brett Favre. Dog years, I’ll show you dog years.” Vick’s interview then abruptly ended after he shouted several expletives over the sound of pained canine yelping in the background.

Judge Hudson could not be reached for comment, but Lawrence Seacone, a legal analyst who holds a doctorate in Mastery of the Obvious, said the judge was “likely sending a message, likely trying to engage in a little poetic justice while at the same time getting something practical done by applying dog years to a man who really had a negative impact on many dozens of dogs’ lives.”

Originally posted 2009-09-08 13:42:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter