LOS ANGELES – Ponderously pregnant rapper M.I.A didn’t let her pending motherhood get in the way of a show-stopping performance last night during the recording industry’s annual rite of self-idolatry, known more commonly as the Grammy Awards.

The outspoken, politically aware rapper, who is Sri Lankan by way of Britain, was eager to take to the stage despite being in her ninth month of gestation. In fact, doctors had projected February 8 – the very day of the Grammy Awards – as her delivery date.

“I could pop at any minute,” acknowledged M.I.A before taking to the stage. “But my baby’s gots to get his swagga on under the lights! He’s gonna be a hip-hop star his own self. But I knowed if I had had him before the show, they’d never have let me take him up here, not even papoose style. I’m so thankful he had a chance to be onstage with Kanye, Jay-Z and the other two fellas.”

Donning a polka dot mesh shirt and a sheer bodice, M.I.A. looked the part of a flightless ladybug as she clambered on stage to kick off the performance of the impromptu “Rap Pack” quartet of Jay-Z, Kanye West, Lil Wayne and T.I.

The act called for her to remain on stage throughout their effort, gyrating and orbiting the platform while lending support to the foursome’s rendition of “Swagga Like Us” by repeatedly trilling the hook from her hit single “Paper Planes” at partially random intervals.

But trouble struck about midway through the act, when loud, staccato sounds, amplified by the onstage microphones, prompted several of the quarter to reach for their sidearms. Fortunately, they realized what the sound was in time to avoid violence and, perhaps more importantly, without breaking stride in their performance.

“It was just her water breaking,” laughed Lil Wayne in an interview after the number. “All of us done heard it. Her water was splashing down on the stage, but girl just kept going like as if nothing happened! I love peeps like that.”

Apparently, the specially crafted ladybug maternity outfit had failed to contain the fluid from the famed rapper’s watershed incident, allowing amniotic fluid to spray about the stage, dousing fellow performers and even audience members.

Look out below!

Far from being horrified, onlookers rushed the stage, eager to gather up some of the hitmaker’s fluids. Many hastily emptied water bottles and tore off shirts, using them to sponge and collect the pungent liquid.

Entertainment lawyer Anal Tryst said those lucky enough to capture enough of the effluent might find themselves with something far more valuable than a simple keepsake. “Celebrity sweat is often used to manufacture perfume, and rightfully commands high prices from consumers,” he noted. “Something like amniotic fluid – that’s much more intimate and I think better captures the essence of the celebrity – in this case, celebrities – in question.”

Originally posted 2009-02-09 13:29:50. Republished by Blog Post Promoter