Former U.S. president, Jimmy Carter, filed suit yesterday in U.S. Federal District Court against current sitting president, Barack Obama.

According to court documents, Mr. Carter has leveled several legal challenges to President Obama, including violation of intellectual property rights.

Jimmy Carter casts an evil eye towards President Obama during a prayer breakfast in D.C. last month

Said Carter’s attorney, Vincent Nortel, “Former President Carter is protected as a fictional character by common law trademark. President Obama’s striking likeness is clearly actionable. The very things that are most identifiable to Mr. Carter, [Obama] is stealing with impunity.”

When asked how trademark of a “character” could apply to Mr. Carter, a real person, Nortel replied, “Please. No one thinks Mr. Carter is for real.”

The suit also accuses President Obama of infringing upon Mr. Carter’s right of publicity – a privacy law tort that prohibits use of a celebrity’s name, image, or likeness for personal gain. “We haven’t exactly figured out how being like Jimmy Carter should ever lead to personal gain,” said Nortel, “but it worked for him, so we presume it will work for Obama. I’m sure there is a banana republic that will set him up in his later years to monitor supposedly democratic elections, which will lead to endless television appearances, not to mention the unwarranted overvaluation of an opinion that would normally merit the same amount of respect as the opinion of a cockroach.”

Robert Gibbs stated in a press conference today that the President flatly denies any wrongdoing. “I’m not sure how Mr. Carter can conclude that the President is encroaching on any right attached to his identity,” Gibbs said with typical smug incredulousness.

“I mean – besides overseeing administrations connected with exploding job losses, skyrocketing oil prices, weakening American influence and power in foreign affairs, capitulation to nut job Iranian leaders, mass dissatisfaction of administration policies among Americans including notable discontent from his own party, tanking job approval numbers, a laughing-stock vice-president who possesses the gravitas of a rodeo clown, and a deeply entrenched sense of malaise suffered by a population weary of perpetual economic bad news and an increasingly flaccid foreign policy, combined with zero faith in the administration’s ability to enact even a single measure that will contribute to reversing the country’s course from a pitiful but inexorable decline – the two have absolutely nothing in common.”

Gibbs then stormed from the room, but not before dashing through the press pool rows and stealing the pens of each of the attending reporters.

UPDATE:

Today, the Obama camp has filed a reply in the case and specifically has asked that George Bush be a named party to the case. Stated in the memorandum in support of its motion, Obama claims that “ [i]f anyone is to blame, it most surely is George Bush.” In a strange twist, Carter joined in the motion.