MADISON, Wis. – A coalition of wives of the Milwaukee Teachers Education Association (MTEA) has filed an amicus curiae in the ridiculous civil suit brought by the MTEA against the Milwaukee School District (MSD). In the suit, the MTEA makes the heinous claim that a recreational lifestyle drug should come before the employment of some its own members.

But the wives aren’t entering the fray over any concern for the proletariat downtrodden. Instead, they fear that arousing their husbands from their slumber of impotence could mark an end to a period of blissfully platonic inactivity that began in 2005 when an arbitrator agreed that MPS didn’t have to provide free Viagra to the union.

The MPS estimates the cost of providing the penis-stiffening drug at nearly $800,000 per year, or enough to employ about a dozen teachers at first-year rates. The MPS argues it can’t afford such frivolous expenditures during the difficult economic conditions that are threatening the district.

The MTEA doesn’t see things that way.

Teachable moment - forget the apple, tell the kids to bring us Viagra

“What’s more important, the gainful employment of a mere 12 of our brothers and sisters, or restoring all of our male members to the aggressive and vigorous sexual lifestyles they deserve,” asked MTEA spokesman Meat Haggard.

But Lucille Frigidpillow, the leader of the teachers wives group that has stepped forward to side with the MSD in opposing the restoration of free Viagra, painted a bleak portrait of married life should Viagra return to the scene.

“Back in 2005, we were granted what we call a sexual parole from our husbands, and we’ve been savoring every minute of it,” she said. “Now I’ve got ladies calling me in a panic, terrified about what this could mean.”

“If you saw what my husband looks like wearing nothing but his back hair and his hemorrhoids, believe me, you’d take this case seriously,” she added.

Dr Windy Brightgarten, an organic psychiatrist and doctorate in women’s literature said that the wives have a case. “There is ample clinical evidence to support the fears these ladies are expressing,” she said.

“The sudden addition of Viagra to a happily platonic marriage is often like giving a spoiled toddler a loaded revolver. Just because he doesn’t know how to use it doesn’t mean he can’t be very, very dangerous with it if it’s loaded,” she added.

An attorney for the wives group said consensus was still possible. “Both sides are in full agreement that petty, self-indulgent creature comforts should come well before the potential employment of a measly 12 teachers,” he said.

“The only question is whether it will be free boner bills or maybe just an annual cash bonus that is provided on the backs of the taxpayer and fellow union members. Either way, I’m confident the true spirit of solidarity will win the day, as it usually does when a good union puts its best minds to it.”

Originally posted 2010-08-08 20:55:25. Republished by Blog Post Promoter