BURBANK, Calif – The Walt Disney Company is no stranger to lawsuits and has in fact been on both sides of the trademark violation issue.  In 1991, Stephen Slesinger Inc. brought suit against Disney over the rights for A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh, and although the case was later dismissed, the threat of legal battle is something for which Disney is constantly prepared.

Usually, though, it’s Disney that’s  sitting in the plaintiff’s seat.  That’s the case with their current legal embroilment, which involves a U.K. reborn doll artist, currently known as Mrs. X, who has been using the name of a trademarked Disney character in her business name for years.

“Unfortunately, we are not able to reveal the name of the cartoon in dispute just yet,” said Disney spokesperson George Arden. “The owner of the business in question has been successful in procuring a gag order that forces us to remain silent until the proceedings have ended.  Apparently, she thinks she’s going to win this one and doesn’t want the publicity to negatively impact the sales of her outrageously priced collectibles.  So, at this point, all we can say is that the unnamed cartoon has been a representative of the magic of Disney for over 50 years.”

Arden says Disney was first made aware of the possible infringement in 2006, when a series of magazines printed stories about the doll artist and her reborn nursery.  “We were surprised at how difficult it became to track this woman down.  Even though we knew her name and her location, every time we’d get close, she’d slip away.  It turns out that Mrs. X is quite an accomplished photoshopper.  She photoshopped everything from addresses on file, to her business name, to publicity photos of herself.  She was skilled at repeatedly changing one small detail after another, until our legal team felt like it was chasing a ghost.  At one point, she even photoshopped the street she lived on, turning it into a river.  When our team came back with boats, they found that the river had been photoshopped into a path of molten lava.  It became very frustrating.”

It wasn’t until brilliant legal mind Pillow Spawn, Esquire stepped forward to offer her services that Disney was able to locate the woman in question.  “Ms. Spawn has more experience in writing cease and desist letters than any other person we know,” said Disney attorney, Wesley Smalls.  “She also has an acutely developed persecution complex.  By channeling her powers of paranoia, Ms. Spawn was able to visualize where Mrs. X was hiding.”

“It was easy,” says Spawn.  “I know what it’s like to have the whole world after you, to be jealous of you, to want what you have,”  said Spawn.  “I used my powers to locate Mrs. X.  It turns out she was hiding snugly betwixt the ass cheeks of one Mr. Swollen BlueComb.”

The trial is set to begin in May, but Disney expects the defense to request a string of continuances, pushing the realistic start date of the proceedings until the fall.