WASHINGTON – Lawmakers announced today that, despite the upcoming switch to all-digital television programming, viewers who are unable to or refuse to upgrade or purchase new TV equipment will still receive a signal. The signal will enable them to enjoy their favorite programming, albeit at a lower resolution. This announcement comes just days before the historic ‘DTV bill’ is set to be signed into law by President Obama.

Ultra Lo-Def TV in action

“We live in a country of freedom of speech. Naturally, that means having the right to watch TV no matter what Washington or the big tech companies dictate,” said Dorphine Yalp, head of consumer advocacy group American National Analog Lobby (ANAL). Yalp’s organization successfully convinced Congress to insert a last-minute provision that requires broadcasters to transmit a low-resolution analog signal simultaneously with its digital counterpart.

Non-digital viewers will still get to enjoy programming such as 'Heroes' and the Super Bowl

Instead of resolutions as high as 1080p, viewers backed by the ANAL proposal will receive their favorite programming in the classic 196p format, featuring a range of 16 colors and up to 8 different sprites viewable on-screen at a time.

“TV’s TV. What do I care how purty (sic) it looks?” said Hubbin Strapps, a resident of rural Iowa, when asked about his refusal to obtain even a free government-provided digital converter box.

“Hell, mine’s still got rabbit ears and you got to bang on it sometimes to make the picture stick,” Strapps continued, referring to his wood-encased, 1966 Zenith black and white television.