“Bro – it’s totally awesome. I’ll just like, take my skateboard down to the mall and like, watch, dude. All these old people just totally lose it. All the yelling. People just completely embarrass themselves, bro. Fights…..it’s awesome. Compared to them, I don’t look like such a loser. It’s like Cops! Only real!”
PITTSBURGH – A coalition of Pittsburgh Women’s Shelters dedicated to combating domestic violence issued a joint press release today thanking the Oakland Raiders for sparing “untold numbers” of Pittsburgh-area women from more serious injuries Sunday evening.
Earlier in the day, the Pittsburgh Steelers suffered an embarrassing, overtime loss to the struggling Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs [...]
“I really did see him. I couldn’t believe it! It was so exciting! But I didn’t want to, you know, stalk the guy or anything.”
NAIROBI, Kenya – Silver screen heart throb Johnny Depp is missing and feared dead off the cost of Kenya today in the aftermath of a gun battle between the U.S.-flagged Maersk Alabama and Somali Pirates.
The 46-year-old Depp, who this week was awarded People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” accolade for the second time, was aboard the [...]
…Modern Rock Radio largely dismissed the announcement as irrelevant, and is not expected to bore their listeners by reporting this announcement as news.
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“…our children are simply too goddam lazy to walk around the goddam neighborhood anymore.”
NBC executives unaware of non-skating Olympic events
Country functions normally during four-day shutdown of Federal Government and Capitol, Dems in panic
Port-au-Prince to receive NFL franchise
Super Bowl win expected to magically cure New Orleans
Orphan futures surge on Madonna, Jolie sightings in Haiti
Earthquake Strikes Yellowstone, Frightens Woodland Critters
New Tiger Woods computer game to feature unlockable trophy women
