San Francisco – The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) announced today at a press conference in front of the Federal Building that it was filing suit on behalf of a three day-old boy who had just left the Sausalito Memorial Hospital to go home with his parents. Amanda James-Goldberg, senior staff attorney for the ACLU’s [...]
Customers will be able to enjoy cream “straight from the tap.”
Vassalboro, Maine – Controversial broodmaster Nadya “Octomom” Suleman, mother of 14 children, including the recent batch of eight that were hatched via in vitro fertilization, has agreed to accept an employment offer at a topless café in Maine, her publicist confirmed today.
“Victor,” refusing to divulge [...]
Even as President Obama continues to face accusations that he is not a “natural born” citizen due to his refusal to make public his “vault” birth certificate, a new citizenship controversy is swirling thanks to his intention to appoint a foreigner to the prestigious First Dog position. People Magazine is reporting that First Lady Michelle [...]
WASHINGTON - President Obama is turning to religion in his latest effort to help struggling homeowners avoid the consequences of treating their homes like limitless credit cards. Obama is asking U.S. banks to give up mortgage payments for Lent.
Lent is a 40-day-long season of sacrifice observed by some Christian denominations, most notably, Roman Catholics. During [...]
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Abolition of slavery, WWII armistice could be at risk
WASHINGTON – Eunuch-voiced contrarian Alan Keyes got a lot more than he bargained for as a result of his long-running feud with political arch-nemesis Barack Obama: the possible annulment of the presidencies of 18 U.S. presidents.
From his failed bid in 2004 for the Illinois senate seat that [...]
ATLANTA – One of the more startling effects of Great Depression v2.0 is a marked rise in female bank robbers. In 2002, 4.9 percent of all bank robberies in the U.S. involved male perps. Today, the fairer sex claims a 6.2 percent share of all such offenses.
But advocates for female bank robbers say that despite [...]
Rihanna has remained silent about the details of the attack she allegedly suffered at the hands of cocoa-smooth R&B warbler, Chris Brown, but her silence has not discouraged fan support.
“Rihanna’s been blessed with an outpouring of love- her fans have always been solid,” said Rihanna spokeswoman Casheeda Orlinn. “She’s received everything from boxes of [...]
PHOENIX - Troubled home “owners” breathed a collective sigh of relief today after President Obama signed a new multi-billion dollar federal entitlement program aimed at mortgage relief into law. The program rewards millions of home “owners” whose stupidity and/or greed prompted them to purchase homes hopelessly beyond their ability to pay and then use them [...]
Wine and Excrement is pleased to present our debut editorial cartoon, A Square with Jokes. This weekly feature is written and drawn by newcomer, Kronos Nyx. Enjoy!
NBC executives unaware of non-skating Olympic events
Country functions normally during four-day shutdown of Federal Government and Capitol, Dems in panic
Port-au-Prince to receive NFL franchise
Super Bowl win expected to magically cure New Orleans
Orphan futures surge on Madonna, Jolie sightings in Haiti
Earthquake Strikes Yellowstone, Frightens Woodland Critters
New Tiger Woods computer game to feature unlockable trophy women
