Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

ESPN compiles scary list of food inspection violations at major sports venues

      BRISTOL, Conn. – ESPN, already the self-anointed worldwide leader in sports, is now hop...

July 26th, 2010| Posted in Sports Read More»

JaMarcus Russell to announce free-agency decision during one-hour special on Versus

MOBILE, Ala. – Recently released free-agent quarterback and epic NFL draft bust JaMarcus Russell is borrowin...

July 9th, 2010| Posted in Sports Read More»

Troubled Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger accused of sexually assaulting himself

PITTSBURGH – Ever since Ben Roethlisberger’s second sexual assault allegation came to light last month...

May 6th, 2010| Posted in National News, Sports Read More»

Tiger Woods laments attention Phil Mickelson receives at Masters, says he wishes his wife had cancer

AUGUSTA,Ga. – The image was so moving and so romantic, it has captivated the nation’s attention: there was...

April 12th, 2010| Posted in Sports Read More»

Douchebag writers at The Onion lament the lack of Ivy League Final Four teams with a hit piece on Indianapolis using 15 year-old skyline photo.

(NEW YORK) Suffering from a week’s worth of severe comedic writer’s block and untreated myopia, writers at...

April 5th, 2010| Posted in Sports Read More»

NBC executives unaware of non-skating Olympic events

NNEW YORK- On the eve of the opening ceremonies, Dick Ebersol, Chairman of NBC Universal Sports, was stunned t...

February 12th, 2010| Posted in Sports Read More»

Pittsburgh-area women’s shelters thank Oakland Raiders for mitigating local domestic violence

PITTSBURGH – A coalition of Pittsburgh Women’s Shelters dedicated to combating domestic violence issued a ...

November 23rd, 2009| Posted in Sports Read More»

Serena Williams admitted to mental hospital after ‘roid-fueled temper tantrum

At the request of USTA officials, Williams will undergo both steroid and gender-confirmation testing. Additio...

September 16th, 2009| Posted in Sports Read More»

Michael Vick to face more jail time as sentence is converted to dog years

RICHMOND, Va. – Under a strict but little-known clause attached to Michael Vick’s plea agreement, the trou...

September 8th, 2009| Posted in Sports Read More»

Confusion reigns after something called a ‘goal’ actually scored in soccer game

Mass confusion halted play in a key soccer match yesterday due to a little-known nuance, apparently called a â...

June 16th, 2009| Posted in Sports Read More»

 

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