White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, announced at a press briefing this morning that President Obama is mulling resigning the presidency in favor of hosting his own show on The Travel Channel. “The presidency has offered the President unparalleled opportunity to explore his true passion: travel – or more specifically, vacationing,” said Gibbs. “The Travel [...]
Only hours after demanding that federal authorities investigate groups opposed to the construction of a mosque at Ground Zero in Manhattan, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has turned her attention to another target: namely, every American citizen. Specifically, Pelosi has leveled the charge that her falling job performance numbers are the result of well-financed [...]
Former U.S. president, Jimmy Carter, filed suit yesterday in U.S. Federal District Court against current sitting president, Barack Obama. According to court documents, Mr. Carter has leveled several legal challenges to President Obama, including violation of intellectual property rights. Said Carter’s attorney, Vincent Nortel, “Former President Carter is protected as a fictional character by common [...]
In a shocking development, the Portland Police Bureau in Oregon has released a transcript of what it says is an audio tape of a ranting Al Gore threatening the woman who has alleged that he sexually assaulted her. “It starts off pretty deadpan,” said lead investigator, Paul Pearson. “You know, typical droning Al Gore stuff. [...]
In the course of his long political career, Sen. Arlen Specter has been a Democrat, then a Republican, and most recently, a Democrat again. Now, having lost the Democratic party primary in the Pennsylvania senate race, Specter has announced he is changing parties once again, this time to the New Black Panther Party. “It appears [...]
In a move signaling his continued dissatisfaction with the composition of the Supreme Court, President Obama has selected Elena Kagan as the nation’s first apparently asexual Supreme Court nominee as a replacement to retiring justice, John Paul Stevens. While many complain that the Supreme Court is far too white, or too Catholic, or too male, [...]
In the wake of Arizona’s tough but controversial new immigration law, Canadian nationals in the United States are steeling themselves for equal treatment as the northern border states consider similar measures. “I’m a little bit nervous, eh,” said Gordon Tremblay, an unemployed actor from Edmonton currently living illegally in St. Paul. “I’m not a drug [...]
WASHINGTON – During a speech delivered Monday at a Democratic Party fundraiser, President Obama vowed to nationalize the political polling industry. Pollsters have consistently reported tanking job approval numbers since six months into the President’s administration and according to an undisclosed source, the President has privately been vexed over how to combat his rising unpopularity [...]
WASHINGTON – Forget Sarah Palin. According to an unnamed source close to the Republican Party, the next President of the United States could be…Ronald Reagan? The surprising revelation comes on the heels of what some analysts call the final moments of the Republican party. “They’ve trotted out Limbaugh, and now, Cheney. Moves that can only [...]
WASHINGTON – Although her nomination to the nation’s highest court is barely 24 hours old, Supreme Court hopeful Sonia Sotomayor is loudly and publicly demanding that the president not stop with his assist in her historic rise to the threshold of judicial all-stardom. In a tearful yet defiant press conference today, Sotomayor called on President [...]
Sweeps Week shocker planned: hubby to slaughter, butcher and eat wife on ‘Man Woman Wild’
Swine flu – it’s like bird flu – only new!Obama considers resigning presidency to host show on The Travel Channel
Dennis Rodman: Conquest of 2,000 women a ‘teachable moment’ for parents
Lohan checks more items off her “Bucket List” of celebutard achievementsPelosi alleges conspiracy by “all Americans” to thwart her poll numbers
St. Louis Cardinals to hire Brandon Phillips as motivational speaker
