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Archive for the ‘National News’ Category
Survey: weight loss improves sex; ability to locate organs, faster foot-speed credited
CHICAGO – In a not-so-surprising summary of findings from a survey of morbidly obese men, the Journal of the...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
Jimmy Hoffa found in office refrigerator
I think he actually discovered the body behind some I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter™ and a bag of leftov...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
U.S. Government suggests New Year’s resolutions in light of Great Depression
WASHINGTON – In November, the government Web site www.usa.gov posted the top 13 New Year’s resolutions tha...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
White House to enter Bed and Breakfast market
Borrowing a page from Arizona’s state-budget playbook, the Obama administration has announced it will rent o...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
Obama got second oath, Aretha wants seconds too
DETROIT – Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul and self-proclaimed best singer in the history of the human voice, ...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
California to auction corpse of Michael Jackson in bid to close budget deficit
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – Desperate to balance a budget shortfall of $26 billion without encroaching on long-esta...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
Obama hires TV’s Bob Vila to fix cabinet
Obama has reached out into the cult of celebrity and tapped TV personality Bob Vila to fix his cabinets. Ob...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»
New Periodic Element Discovered! Named Obamanite
For the first time in more than 25 years, the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) has ...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News, Science & Technology, World News Read More»
Police confiscate, use, more than $1.2 million in illegal drugs from Phish fans
“This is a total bummer, man. Like, wow! ... The Man is totally oppressing us!” “...we gonna trip ba...
October 11th, 2011| Posted in National News Read More»