Archive for the Category ‘Financial News’

Northern border states consider Arizona-style border laws, target Canadians

Northern border states consider Arizona-style border laws, target Canadians

In the wake of Arizona’s tough but controversial new immigration law, Canadian nationals in the United States are steeling themselves for equal treatment as the northern border states consider similar measures. “I’m a little bit nervous, eh,” said Gordon Tremblay, an unemployed actor from Edmonton currently living illegally in St. Paul. “I’m not a drug [...]

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GM to relocate to North Korea, produce nuclear-powered Hummers

GM to relocate to North Korea, produce nuclear-powered Hummers

WASHINGTON – On the heels of North Korea’s test of a nuclear warhead and several missile launches, U.S. officials have announced a dramatic breakthrough agreement with the wayward nation that involves beleaguered auto industry has-been General Motors. Under the agreement, Detroit-based GM, which had been facing a looming bankruptcy filing, will shut down its entire [...]

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Insurance agencies to reverse policy of charging higher premiums for risky customers

Insurance agencies to reverse policy of charging higher premiums for risky customers

WASHINGTON – In a watershed moment that is already sending shockwaves through the general insurance industry, health insurance companies announced today that they will abandon their longstanding practice of charging higher premiums to insure the sick. The announcement comes as the industry remains besieged by militant socialist members of the House and Senate and under [...]

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Obama urges banks to give up mortgage collection for Lent

Obama urges banks to give up mortgage collection for Lent

WASHINGTON – President Obama is turning to religion in his latest effort to help struggling homeowners avoid the consequences of treating their homes like limitless credit cards. Obama is asking U.S. banks to give up mortgage payments for Lent. Lent is a 40-day-long season of sacrifice observed by some Christian denominations, most notably, Roman Catholics. [...]

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Wells Fargo Vegas trip back on, plans to ‘Double its money’

Wells Fargo Vegas trip back on, plans to ‘Double its money’

SAN FRANCISCO – In a surprising reversal, bailout beneficiary Wells Fargo announced today that it would commence with its planned trip to Las Vegas as scheduled contradicting its decision earlier to cancel the controversial corporate junket. The sudden recantation came just hours after the bank’s recent tangle with lawmakers over what one analyst called “spitting [...]

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