WASHINGTON – The wildly popular “cash for clunkers” plan, the latest governmental indulgence of chronically imprudent consumerism, is going over so well among Congressmen eager to insulate their self-entitled constituents from Great Depression v2.0 that its scope is being expanded even as it still awaits approval in the Senate.

The cash-for-clunkers plan momentarily redirects the government’s bailout focus from Americans struggling with wastefully large houses to those struggling with wastefully large vehicles, promising a free-and-clear payment of up to $4,500 to consumers who trade in gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs in favor of more efficient vehicles.

Supporters say that in addition to helping the country “go green,” the handout will be a hand up for the beleaguered auto industry by stimulating a rash of new-car sales at a time they are desperately needed.

Now, House proponents say the plan has received such an enthusiastic response they are broadening its reach to include husbands looking to offload obsolete spouses.

“This really is just a logical next step,” said U.S. Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., who said he had lit on the idea during a private audience with Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman Henry Waxman of California.

“Think about what goes into a divorce – you have to hire a big-gun lawyer, lots of taxable billable hours there. Your estate is divided. Someone loses the house, and where does that put the other buyer? In the market for a new home, maybe a new car as well. This is a win-win for the economy and for the menfolk who are looking to open up a new chapter in their lives.”

Under the plan’s new-spouse provision, a man who divorces and then marries a new woman at least 10 years younger and/or 50 pounds lighter than his ex-wife would be eligible for up to $10,000 in government funds. If only one of the conditions is met, the payout would decrease to $5,000.

“We put those provisions in there for a good reason,” noted Dingle. “If you replace your middle-aged, unattractive wife with another middle-aged, unattractive wife, there’s really no incentive to maintain a costly appeasement campaign, for example, plying them with expensive perfumes and jewelry. But, if you replace your middle-aged, unattractive wife with a young hottie, you’d better believe you’re going to have to do all sorts of things, as an older man, to ensure her attention doesn’t wander. That costs money, and spending money generates taxes.”

Foreign mail-order brides would qualify under the program, but would be charged a hefty 33% tariff, which would be assessed against the government payout, a provision that the Philippines, Russia and the Ukraine are already vigorously lobbying against.

“We certainly acknowledge the important role of imports in our economy, and that includes the bride market, but we feel that this plan must keep the emphasis firmly on American-made products,” Dingell insisted.

He added that a discounted tariff applied to brides imported from English-speaking countries such as Canada and England because they were “less of a drain” on the system, although “usually not as hot. That’s the tradeoff you have to make as an informed consumer.”

Noreen Proudwomb, of the National Organization for Women (NOW), was quick to condemn the measure. “This is an outrage to women everywhere,” she said. “What about a bailout for women looking to dump their fat, useless husbands?”

Dingell countered by noting that women are “more easily commoditized,” adding “That’s just the way it works – that’s an advertising truism, not something I made up. Besides, most women with fat ugly husbands aren’t interested in physical union anymore – with anyone. But middle-aged men still are. That’s a powerful market force at work that we can tap.”

Proponents of the plan also noted that the jilted older-model wives would be eligible for handsome payouts that would likely be extracted from their former husbands during divorce proceedings.

“Odds are, they’re going to get the house, they’re going to get the car, they’re going to get the family cat,” Dingell said. “When that happens – snap – those are all replacement items that the husband and his new wife will need to secure, and that money will go straight into our recovering economy.”

And if the deserted wives can’t afford the mortgage on the family house they are awarded?

“We’ve already got a bailout to take care of that,” said Dingell.