Abolition of slavery, WWII armistice could be at risk

WASHINGTON – Eunuch-voiced contrarian Alan Keyes got a lot more than he bargained for as a result of his long-running feud with political arch-nemesis Barack Obama: the possible annulment of the presidencies of 18 U.S. presidents.

From his failed bid in 2004 for the Illinois senate seat that went to Obama to a fringe presidential candidacy last year, the excitable soprano has always had harsh words for his political bête noire.

Of late, that has included the labeling of President Obama as a “radical communist” and the ominous admonition “I’m not sure he’s even president of the United States.”

Alan Keyes' efforts to unseat Obama have stirred up a Constiutional hornet's nest

In fact, the perennial also-ran staunchly refuses to address Obama as president and has been furiously pursuing legal action in a bid to oust him from office on grounds he is not qualified under citizenship rules set forth in the Constitution.

But now Mr. Keye’s tireless legal probes have ignited a shocking firestorm – one that threatens to shake the U.S. democracy to its very foundations. According to at least one interpretation of the reasoning of Mr. Keye’s complaint, not only is Obama’s presidency invalid, no less than 18 other U.S. presidents held office illegally.

At the center of the controversy are these words from Article 2, Section 1 of the Constitution, cited ceaselessly by Keyes: “No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President.”

As it happens, 13 states made up the U.S. at the time of the adoption of the Constitution, which, in light of Mr. Keye’s lawsuit, calls into question the presidencies of Clinton, Reagan, and even Lincoln, to name a few staggering examples.

Although Mr. Keyes is now backpedaling faster than a steroids-fuelled NFL safety to distance himself from that radical angle of attack, scholars say that now that the legal machinery has been set in motion, it will probably end up as far as the Supreme Court.

“This is amazing,” said Constitutional Scholar Redolent Backspins of the University of Charlton Heston in Wilmette, Ill. “This could mean everything from our still being at war with Germany and Japan to the dissolution of the Emancipation Proclamation. I’d be surprised if the Supreme Court didn’t agree to hear this case immediately.”

Just to be safe, the U.S. Pacific Fleet has been placed on alert for possible military action against Japan, while a spokesperson for the U.S. Army says a “careful eye” is being kept on Germany, in case V – J and V – E Days, respectively, are judged to be unfounded.

Most legal scholars, members of the House and Senate and even Keyes himself call the moves an overreaction and even absurd, but agree only the Supreme Court can decide now whether a return to WWII hostilities and a reprisal of the absolution of slavery are warranted.

“My only intention was and continues to be the removal of Obama from office,” said Keyes. “Although, it would be nice if we could do the same for every other democrat on the list these radical scholars have turned up – but I still don’t think we should be at war with Germany and Japan – at least not until we get out of this economic crisis.”

The complete list of potentially invalid presidents, aside from Obama:

Originally posted 2009-02-23 19:53:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter